Green Acres. But I digress, already.
What do we learn from TV?
Missy and I… ok, just *I*… watch Forensic Files. A lot. Often. I’ve seen every episode at least four times. It doesn’t help when Netflix has them all, plus Hulu, and other channels, so I can watch them like they vote in Chicago… early and often.
I now mostly watch them as background noise when I want to do something but don’t want to be distracted because it also interests me. I’ve seen them all so I have no need to be riveted anymore.
Anyways, what would we learn from Forensic Files? A friend of mine feels shows like this are irresponsible, they teach people how to get away with crimes. I don’t see it that way. Before I go on I will say that I have learn some things along these lines. For example…
- …should you ever find yourself in an interrogation room… SHUT UP!!! Even honest police will say only an idiot speaks when potentially in legal trouble, and it matters not if you’re innocent or guilty.
- …A second thing I have learned is: Police lie. Legally. It is illegal for you to lie to them, but it is perfectly legal, encouraged even, for them to lie to you. (In the US) If they tell you Jimmy ratted you out… maybe, maybe not. Go back to #1, shut up.
- …A third thing I’ve learned is: If you have committed a crime, especially something like murder or robbery, throw away every single piece of clothing you were wearing. Everything. Preferably each piece in a different dumpster with the minimum distance between each dumpster being 30 miles.
- …Do not ever use a credit card when purchasing your “murder supplies”. Cash only. A minimum of 50 miles from anywhere you might otherwise go, and a store which you never normally patronize. And for the love of God, even when you do use cash, do not then use your loyalty card. It’s mind-boggling this even has to be said, but I have watched countless people get life in prison because they wanted to save 35c on duct tape.
- But the biggest thing I’ve learned is: Don’t even do it, because if they want to find you bad enough, they will.
Another aspect is the police will also search your social media history if you’re a suspect… spare me the euphemistic “person of interest” crap, if they talking to you you’re a suspect… but I have no intention to commit a crime, so there ya go.
Oh, and for the record… Missy always gets sucked in, too, and we end up discussing it together.
If you must commit a crime, wear booties on your shoes and gloves. Do not stick around, do not ever take those gloves off and DO NOT get blood in your car! However, you will get caught. So uh…don’t do it!