Why The Grump Does Not Do Third-Party Delivery

It’s been over a year now since I stopped using third-party delivery, but from what I’m hearing things haven’t changed much. I bet you’re wondering why, aren’t you? Well, I’m here to tell ya… 😉

It’s expensive. Not only am I tipping, which is fine in and of itself, but the delivery fees are outrageous, and I have seen times when there are two fees. It can approach doubling the cost of the meal. Granted, the fee by itself is justified as they have a business, too, but there is a limit and they pass it.

Inserting a “middle-man” confuses everything if there are issues that need to be resolved. I once had an order double-billed to my credit card. It took over four months to get someone to give me a refund for one of them. The delivery service wanted to push it off on to the restaurant, the restaurant wanted to push it off on to the delivery service. Basically, both of them just wanted me to go away. Only after writing a snail mail letter to the restaurant telling them they now had all the money from both charges and explaining what happened in detail, did they send me an apology and a refund.

Some services impose themselves on restaurants without permission. Some of these also use outdated menus, deceiving the customer.

Delivery drivers can be unprofessional. I was pre-tipping because it was during the pandemic and I wanted contactless delivery, but I would read delivery drivers online say they wouldn’t even accept an order unless there was a huge pre-tip involved. Ya know what, buddy, screw you, you don’t deserve my business at all. Yes, I tipped and I tipped well, but my order shouldn’t have to depend on the whims of some self-entitled punk-ass kid.

Quality of service itself is spotty, 50/50, at best. I have indeed had some great experiences, but I have had some absolutely horrible experiences, too. One driver let my food sit at the restaurant for 25 minutes before she left the restaurant, then delivered two other orders across town before dropping mine off (I was watching her tracker and the clock the whole time, and I bet she accepted three orders and waited for them all), 55 minutes after the restaurant signaled it was ready, which by then was ice cold. This was the end for me, it was after this experience I swore off third-party delivery. So instead I pick it up myself or I stick to places that do their own delivery. The no middle-man aspect, especially, is huge. To the point above regarding the double-charge, with no middle-man they have to deal with me.

Having said all that, I do believe third-party delivery has a legitimate future, but that day is not today. The industry needs to mature and work out the kinks. When it does, I’ll probably come back.

Be More Like Dogs

We’re flawed.

Have you ever been walking along and stumble over nothing but your own big feet?  We all have.  There’s nothing strange about that.  But what do you do when that happens?  Ok, you get up, of course, but what else?

You feel embarrassed, and… you look around to see if anybody saw you.  Don’t lie.  Don’t kid yourself.  You do and you know it.  Don’t pretend your above it.  You don’t want to feel like your dignity is lessened.  It’s part of the human experience, and it’s flawed.  I do not know if it’s natural or learned, but it’s there.

You stumble and fall.  You get up and brush yourself off, and you look around, already thinking how you will give a fake laugh and try to “blow it off” to others just in case they saw it.  You have to save face, you know.  And God forbid someone recorded it and you end up on a funny video show.

But what would a dog do?

When a dog stumbles over nothing but their own paws and falls, they get up, and… resume walking as if nothing happened.  That’s it.  Nothing else.  There is no internal feeling of shame or embarrassment.  They literally could not care less if a person or another dog saw them do it.

Think about this.  Maybe this is one reason why dogs seem to be happier and less troubled than humans.  They don’t sweat the small stuff.  And a minor stumble is the small stuff.  It doesn’t hurt anything, it doesn’t affect anything, we should get right up and continue on just like dogs do… but we allow emotional baggage to creep in.

Be more like a dog.