Today we will take a look at three bad ideas. Incredibly dumb, self-defeating, moronic ideas. Fortunate for us… or maybe not… the human species is full of dumb ideas. Now, we’re not talking things like jumping off a water tower while drunk to impress a girl who already went home with another guy. No, we’re talking things that were intended to be completely serious, yet failed miserably anyway. So, without further ado, let’s go…
1. Continues recycling linen towels in public restrooms. Officially known as “Reusable Cloth Roll Towel (CRT) systems”. Some guy with a blog… as if anyone cares what some random guy thinks, I mean really!… claims these are the best and most hygienic options for public restrooms. Let’s look at this objectively, shall we? In a controlled and carefully manipulated scientific atmosphere, and with light use, I’m sure these things are actually pretty decent.
But let’s also take a look at reality. Think back to every time you’ve actually seen these contraptions in action. They almost always tend to be in the seediest and most questionable restrooms. Which kind of makes sense as they would appeal to the laziest of operators who want to spend as little time as possible maintaining their restrooms. Due to questionable sanitary conditions and constant overuse, they’re all wrinkly and dirty and still wet from the last six guys who were in there doing whatever it is they do. The linen towels on these things are always absolutely disgusting. Hardly sanitary, let alone reassuring. I feel better wiping my hands on my shirt.
2. Dual drive-thrus. A relatively recent phenomenon, I can sense the logic. Get people in and their order taken as quick as possible. People are impatient in the first world, after all. This will speed up the process, get people through quicker, which makes them happy, but even more important brings in more revenue, which makes us happy. Sounds great. In theory.
In practical reality, however, they are horrible. Whenever you take an order, then have to ask every car in line which order is their’s, you know it’s not working as intended. And the kicker? They still get it wrong way too often. You still end up driving away with somebody else’s order, wondering who got your food.
Then there’s the schmucks who risk an accident to rush around you to get in what they believe will be the quicker side. Or the lackey who hasn’t been paying attention and takes orders out of order. Yes, just a lovely experience all around.
3. Spray on hair, hair in a can, whatever it was called. It was invented and sold by Ronco, inventors and makers of a plethora of supremely quirky gadgets and novelties… though I will say that my Ronco Showtime Rotisserie is freaking awesome.
Anyways, was this really intended to be serious? As strange as it may seem, I think so. I think Ron Popeil is supremely serious in all his inventions and innovations. Which, of course, makes it all the funnier. It didn’t help that the actors in the television commercials were serious. I always wondered how they were able to keep straight faces.
This photo here is proof that it’s a good idea, right? <wink wink, nod nod> Men with hair get all the babes. That’s how it works, isn’t it? Isn’t that why some men do comb-overs? To get the babes? At least that’s how it’s sold to young boys and men growing up, if you don’t have a full head of hair you need the illusion of a full head of hair. And we won’t even get into toupees, ala Mr Tudball. The only way you can get a babe without a full head of hair is to be rich. This thinking, naturally… no pun intended… is equally insulting to both men and women. It implies that each sex is shallow.
Well, ok, both sexes ARE shallow in their own ways. No one sees that about themselves, though, just the other side.
So there you have it. We may report on more later, ya never know.