Category: Annoyances

Soap Box: Don’t lie to me

One of the great things about a blog such as this is that there’s almost never a lack of good subject matter. Today’s topic is when people lie to us. More specifically, when corporations… which are made up of people… lie to us. I’m talking the bold-faced intentional lie that no one, not even the most forgiving considerate nice person, believes.

For example: I log into my email this morning, and there’s a message from Google Play, the header of which reads…

At Google Play your security is our biggest priority

😐

No, it’s not. Don’t lie to me. Nobody, without exception, believes that. If I had to dissect it… which I will because I need to fill some space, stating the obvious is kinda short and quick… I guess the big hang up for me here is the inclusion of the word “biggest”. As in #1, everything else pales in comparison, we will sacrifice profit to protect you. The mere notion makes my head hurt, it’s so patently ridiculous. You’ll sell us down the road for a buck in the blink of an eye. You know it, I know it.

If they had said “…your security is our priority”, and left out the ‘biggest’ lie, it would still imply #1, but it wouldn’t be as in-your-face blatant lying about it, and would have been ok. I probably would have rolled my eyes and moved on. It wouldn’t have triggered my ire to the point that I felt the need to speak out about it.

At least butter me up and pretend that I’m intelligent.

By Annoyances, Soap BoxLeave a Comment

Things I will never understand

The things we will do to posture ourselves so other people will think highly of us… or at least how we define highly. People are so fake. “Plastic” was a groovy term from the 1960s and 70s. Personally, I like “transparent” better. So, what are some of these things that people do to fake it?

1. Pro-active proclamations of assertiveness.

You know the person, they’re the ones who will make sure to tell you how freely they will tell the truth, tell it like it is, tell (correct?) others to their face, yada yada yada, and if people don’t like it they can lump it. Or something like that. I call BS. In my life’s experiences and observations, the more people brag how brutally open and honest they are, when opportunities do arise to do this, more often than not they’re as quiet as the proverbial church mouse. Do it too much and you lose credibility.

2. Pro-active proclamations of indifference.

If you take the time to publicly state, on your own, with no prompting, that you don’t care what anybody thinks, you are lying. The mere fact that you made the statement proves that you do care. If you honestly and truly didn’t care, the thought would never even have occurred to you to make the statement. Usually done by people who have no credibility to begin with, but desperately want some.

3. Pro-active assertions of how they make the world change for them.

A particular medication is only available in pill form.  You hate pills.  You demand that they make it in liquid form just for you.  You won’t take it except in liquid form.  Basically, the person who claims they made the world change for them, and only them, and as you listen you know it’s not true. Hate to break it to ya, buttercup, but you are not that special that the world stops and re-directs just because you demand they do so. Oh, and I’ve already dismissed your story of corporate manipulation success, too. What credibility you might have had, is now gone. *poof!*

Incredible.

By Annoyances, ObservationsOne Comment

Look, a squirrel!… and other annoyances

Is it bad to be so annoyed all the time? I mean, c’mon, is everybody else really that… brain dead? Well, yes, many are. Around me, it seems. But not all, let’s be curmudgeonly fair. I have even had my own moments of dumbness, though only a couple, and mine were completely justifiable. No jury would ever convict me.

Be that as it may, there are some irritating things in the world that need to be discussed and dealt with.

Example: Road construction. A couple things here. First, back in my day… get off my lawn!… they’d put some cones and a couple signs out, and everybody knew where to drive to stay out of causing a wreck. It wasn’t a big deal. Today, apparently we have enough non-drivers that they have to completely repaint all the lines and arrows, just to take them out later, which scars the pavement, so they can repaint them again, rinse-and-repeat, lest Goober lose his way and ram someone who did know what to do. This is not a good sign of where society is going, no pun intended.

Second, you remember my previous post where I mention the Facebook page for my hometown where all people do is complain? Basically, whenever the city does anything new and/or different, the wailing and gnashing of teeth begins. Wasting money on pet projects for friends (read: developers), blah, blah, blah. We have lots of roads that need work so spend money there (there’s one guy that I think would prefer gravel roads, he wants no money spent at all). Yet when there is construction to fix or rehabilitate a road, they complain about that, too. It’s not being managed right (as if they’re in this industry and know what they’re talking about), why did they choose that spot when this other road right in front of my house needs it more?, and my personal favorite… I had to wait. 😐 and *facepalm*. What the deuce, people, do you want the roads fixed, or not? I mean, really!

Then there’s my memory, of late. This point was going to be something completely different just 45 seconds ago, and it was going to be so poignant and cool as to be mind blowing, so much so that you’d have had an urge to give me a fist bump, and now it’s this as a back up…

Oh, wait, now I remember… why is good food labeled as bad? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Treats like chocolates and candies and the such are often labeled as “sinful”. Why is that? Are we saying that good tasting food is from the devil and that good-for-you food sucks in taste, but is righteous? Phfft, that’s no fun. Oh my God, pun intended, we might be a bad person if we actually enjoy something. (throws up hands in futility of trying to be a good person)

It should be the other way around, the good people should get the good tasting stuff AND have it be good for you. “Sinful” food should be, oh, I don’t know… castor oil. Or liver & onions. This dichotomy fits with my historical perception of the Catholic church, whose motto should be, “Life is pain. Deal with it.”

And last, but certainly not least, “Look, a squirrel!”, the phrase. Such an awesomely descriptive phrase. It explains mindless distraction perfectly. I want to reference that, along with “first world problem(s)”, all the time, but just look at it. “Look, a squirrel!” I mean, to be done properly, an exclamation point is a must, but the exclamation point gets lost next to the ‘l’. No impact. Just a plain sentence. A perfect phrase thwarted by similarities in character.

So annoyi… oh, what a cute basset meme.

By Annoyances, Daily Life, Driving, ObservationsOne Comment

I just wanted a pizza

Is it really that hard to just sell me something?  If I want to go to a concert, when I go to buy tickets I have to create an account where I hand over personal information.  Everybody on the internet wants you to create an account anymore.  It’s become disconcerting.  Remember Radio Shack?  They would ask for your phone number at every purchase.  You’d have thought that that diode you purchased had national security implications.

Yesterday was Friday.  It was hot and muggy.  I was tired.  On the way home I decide I’m going to stop in and get a pizza to take home for dinner.  I go in, the clerk immediately asks for my phone number.  Curious, I ask the clerk if it’s required.  He looks shocked, then says ‘yes’.  Now, I have no idea if he’s lying or telling the truth.  He could have lied just to get me to shut up and comply.  It’s a good thing The Grump has a strategy for this.  If The Grump, aka “Jenny”, determines that they have no legitimate need for my actual phone number… such as when purchasing a pizza… he gives his phone number as 867-5309.  I’ve been doing this for over 20 years now, and only once has someone looked back at me and smiled because they knew exactly what I was doing.  (Then there was the business that had over a dozen ‘Jennys’, and I had choose from the list.)  This does afford me some level of privacy, granted, but it still shouldn’t have to be that way.  I order the pizza, I give you my money, you give me my pizza.  Done.

But it’s amazing how many people just blindly hand over their personal information, as if everyone is ethical and honest.  It wasn’t all that long ago that the same thing happened routinely with Social Security numbers.  Now, THAT’s dangerous.

Of course The Grump is not so naive as to not know they are collecting information to make more money, to entice me to buy things I might not otherwise buy, to sell and/or use against me at a later date.  They claim it’s to serve me better, and there is a kernel of truth to that, but if they didn’t get anything extra out of it they wouldn’t be concerned about serving me better at all.

The Grump wrote a letter to corporate asking if this was indeed a mandatory policy.  I want to know if the clerk was being truthful or if he was jerkin’ my chain.  Simple transactions shouldn’t have to be so difficult.

I just wanted a pizza.

By AnnoyancesOne Comment

Equal Time: Yes, Men Have Their Annoying Quirks, Too

I used to live in the downtown district of a very small town. Lived there for 15 years, as a matter of fact. Being that it was literally an old-fashioned small town downtown, I did not have a driveway or a garage. I had on-street parking in which I had to vie for a parking space every single day. I could usually get pretty close to home, but it was no guarantee. Simply put, I hated that.

What was especially not optimal was that I preferred to wash my own cars. I will now do a touch-less automatic car wash, but I do not do any automatic car wash that drags carpet across my vehicle or spins abrasive brushes against it. Washing one’s own car is the way to go, and gets the best results.

Whenever I could get a parking space right out front on a Friday or Saturday night, I would drag the hose and bucket and soap out the next morning and wash my car in the street. Just me and some shorts and a tank top and some sandals and a hose and a bucket and some soap, and… old men.

Ugh!

Just as women have that chemical imbalance that kicks in at middle age regarding their shopping rituals that I mentioned in my last post, men I think experience a similar brain chemical imbalance that kicks in right on their 60th birthday.

Obviously, because I was washing my car on the street, and it was downtown, people would often walk by. Pretty much everyone would look, some would point while whispering to their companion, probably wondering who the hell washes their own car anymore to begin with, but would never say anything. Except the old men.

Always, without fail, some old codger would sidle up to me, and smile in his charming my-dentures-are-about-to-fall-out kind of way, and say… and this is pretty much verbatim, it was like they all had the same script… “How about I pull mine in behind you and you can do mine next?”

😐

Oh, lordy, you’d swear they just made up the most uproariously hilarious and completely original, joke. Wow. I’d never heard that one before, by golly. They’d all get some version of a belly laugh as they wandered off feeling so satisfied with themselves. If they were strolling with their wife they’d re-tell it to them, usually while the wife was rolling her eyes.

And I single out old men for a reason. It was only them. Never kids. Never younger men. Never ever a woman, at all, ever. Just old men. I will strive to never be “that guy”.

By now you’re wondering, “What did Ken do?”

At first I did an eye-rolled laugh and quoted a price of $50 (a couple guys were actually offended by the price, go figure). Then after awhile I just said, “No thanks.” I eventually just gave them a blank stare and didn’t respond at all. That last one was the most satisfying to me, as they seemed to enjoy comebacks, and didn’t know what to do with no response at all.

Fast forward to today, and I have a driveway and a garage, and I used to still wash my own car in my own driveway… and loved it… but the last several years have been using automatic touch-less car washes, instead. I miss washing the car… really, I do… but I don’t miss getting dizzy every time I bent over that came with my own advancing age.

By Annoyances, Mornings, RantOne Comment

Buttons, and Zippers, and Snaps… Oh My!

Forgive me if I’m being sexist, or misogynist, or some other gender-related *ist, but I can’t help but notice differences between the sexes.  I’m sorry… not really, just being polite… but there ARE difference between the sexes.  It just is.

Younger women don’t do this, so there must be some chemical imbalance that kicks in in women at roughly the age of 35.  Maybe some sudden draining of estrogen, or something.  Beats me, I don’t always get women to begin with… and from what I’m told, neither do other women.  But I digress…

They start becoming obsessed with their pocketbooks.

I don’t mean about the pocketbook itself, necessarily, though they do fawn all over how cute it is.  No, I’m talking about the organizational aspect of the pocketbook.  Their favorites seem to be the pocketbooks with 75 little parallel compartments sized just right for cash, credit cards, and so on.  And it’s not simple like a man’s wallet.  No.  It’s all safely secured behind a mind-boggling series of buttons and zippers and snaps.  Carefully designed to thwart even the most tenacious thief, I’m thinking.  That has to be the mindset in even designing something like this.  Here’s what I observed just a few days ago…

…A 45-ish year old lady is at the checkout in front of me.  She waits until all her items are rung up and is told the total, THEN she decides to pull her pocketbook from her purse.  This delay in starting the process of paying is inconsiderate and bad enough, but then begins the money extracting ritual.  Just shoot me now, it’s gonna be a long one.

She pulls the pocketbook from her purse… she lays it on the counter… she flips it over to the correct side… she unsnaps the little buckle-like snap on the outside… she opens the pocketbook… she flips the pocketbook over to the correct side (again)… she unzips a compartment, which exposes several smaller compartments… she fiddles and thumbs through what must have been ten little pockets… she extracts $10 from the cash compartment… the total is $10.72… she flips the pocketbook around… she unsnaps the coin area… she carefully counts out exactly 75 cents and hands it to the cashier… she then closes the pocketbook and pushed it away from her… (I’m watching all this in awe of the mind-numbing process that I’m sure happens in her life several times a day)… the cashier hands her 3 cents in change… she flips the pocketbook over to access it (at least she did reseal it)… she carefully puts the 3 cents in the coin area… she snaps the coin area shut… the cashier hands her the receipt…. she browses for another as yet untouched compartment… she carefully and precisely folds the receipt and places it in the new compartment… she then proceeds to do most of the same thing to close it all up (I’ll spare you the play-by-play on this one)… ALL WHILE STILL STANDING THERE WITH BOTH ME AND THE CASHIER STARING AT HER IN DISBELIEF!!!  And of course the pocketbook must be replaced in just the right place in the purse.

😐  I can’t.  I just can’t.  The cashier gives me an “I’m sorry.” look, but it’s not her fault.

And God forbid writing a check is involved.  It is also my observations in life that habitual check writing starts for women around age 35.  Not younger women.  Almost never men.  And generation seems to make no difference.  When younger women of any generation who never did this before reach a certain age, it kicks in, out comes the pocketbook and the checkbook.  Now, about a week ago, I did see an older man do something similar with his wallet and cash, but that was a an anomaly.  He was also looking around 70-ish.

It’s got to be a chemical imbalance, or something.

By Annoyances, Daily Life, Observations, Retail2 Comments

May the 4th Be With You…*facepalm*

May the 4th be with you.

😐

Really, it sounds like it was coined by a 7th grader who thinks he’s way more creative and pithy than he really is. And I specify “he” because, while women use it, women generally aren’t this juvenile to actually make it up. You’re not cute or funny.

People who say this deserve a throat punch. It’s one of those phrases that was mildly cute and earned a chuckle… if not an outright eye roll… the first time you heard it, but grows stale and lame after that.

Of course, these same people will, whenever an annoyance is expressed, purposely do said annoyance… I’m looking at you, Jill… which just adds to the vexation factor. And they know this, of course. That’s precisely why they do it.  People are so special.

lame
adjective

2(of an explanation or excuse) unconvincingly feeble.
‘the TV licensing teams hear a lot of lame excuses’

2.1 (of something intended to be entertaining) uninspiring and dull.
‘I found the programme pretty lame and not very informative’

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/lame

Look, it’s not original. Let it go. It’s been done to death. Let it die.

By Annoyances2 Comments

Ten Things That Should Be Against The Law

There’s not much to start with, because, well, the title kind of says it all.  So, here we go.

1) Auto-renew:  I can manage my payments quite nicely, thank you very much.  I don’t need your convenience, which is really you hoping I’ll forget and keep paying for your service long after I’ve stopped using it.

2) Terms of Service (TOS) without ways to negotiate or discuss:  You’re either with us or you’re against us.  That’s the attitude.  Accept our terms, or go away.  Raise your hand if you read the TOS on anything.  Yeah, I thought so.  I don’t either.  I already know pretty much what it’ll be… anything that could possibly go wrong will be in their favor, never mine.

3) Double standards in law enforcement: In some states police are allowed to use radar, but you’re not allowed to use a radar detector.  Should you ever find yourself in a police interrogation room… er, excuse me, interview room… the police and prosecutors are legally allowed to lie to you, but you are not legally allowed to lie to them.  No, fair is fair, level playing field and all that.

4) Credit reports and criteria about YOU that you are not allowed to see:  Your credit report virtually rules your life.  But do you know how it’s determined?  I bet ya don’t.  Oh, you have some vague idea, and of course if you pay your bills it’ll be better, but deep down hidden in the shadows you don’t know.  And you should.  Anything about you should be available to you.

A person should be able to copyright them self so that if anyone wants to do anything at all with your information they have to get your permission, agree to your TOS, and pay you a fee.

5) Buy 2 for $2.00, or 1 at regular price ($1.69):  I don’t want two hamburgers.  I’m only hungry for one hamburger.  I’m in a no-win situation with these “deals”.  I feel like I’m being screwed either way.  If I get two, I feel guilty for wasting food.  If I get one, I’m being price gouged.  They’ve already stated they’re willing to take a dollar for their burger, so just sell me one for a buck and otherwise leave me alone.

6) “Convenience” fees:  It’s bad enough that you have to pay a fee to your financial institution to pay online, like you’re getting a mother’s note for permission to give them money, but we’ll go for the big enchilada here… concert tickets.  Ticketmaster seems to be the worst.  They keep adding them on.  “Convenience fee”, “facility fee”, “service fee”, fees to print your own tickets, or a fee to have it mailed to you via snail mail.  These fees tend to be so overtly bogus that they can’t even think up good names to justify them.

And for your continued entertainment pleasure, here’s a couple blog posts by others specifically about this topic: How do I avoid TicketMaster fees? and Ticketmaster’s new blog: ‘We get it — you don’t like service fees’

7) Celebrating “firsts”:  Ok, we get it, something “historical” has happened that we will all promptly forget because it’s really not important.  All the truly historical “first” have already happened.  Let it go.

8) Companies having websites then making it virtually impossible to contact them or cancel:  You get suckered into violating rule #1 above, you agree to auto-deduction from your account.  Time passes and you decide you want to cancel, or maybe you just want to give them some feedback, so you go to their website, the same place you signed up, and… wait, where do I find the cancel button?  Oh, they hid it from you.

9) Not answering the question:  I don’t know what’s worse, the person who won’t answer the question, or the reporter who lets them get away with it by not pressing the issue.  Example…

Reporter:  “Senator Blowmoney, was that you we saw driving 90 mph on the freeway last night?”

Senator Blowmoney:  “Let me reiterate my full admiration and support for our fine law enforcement officers.  Theirs is a very difficult job, and I know that each and every one enforces the law fairly and with integrity.

Reporter:  <goes onto another topic>

😐

Is it just me?  Senator Blowmoney didn’t answer the question.  And not only didn’t you press the issue, you completely ignored that he didn’t answer the question.  What kind of a reporter are you anyway?

10) Thoughts and prayers:  Oh do shut up!  We get it, you got nothin’ in the way of actual help or solutions or even meaningful sympathy.  Spare me.

Now, of course, I am speaking tongue-in cheek. Maybe.  As a more-or-less free market advocate, I do not believe these things should literally be against the law, but they are bogus in concept and should end. I live strongly by the “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” ideal.

By Annoyances, Daily Life, ObservationsLeave a Comment

Annoyed At Not Being Annoyed

First world problem, I know. (I love that phrase!) It’s been almost a month since my last post. That’s outrageous! I mean, there have been lots of little things that have been annoying of late, so all hope is not lost, but nothing really pen-worthy. For example: I’m eating as I write this and I spilled something on my shirt. Damn that’s annoying, but I already wrote about that. See what I mean?

Overall in life things aren’t going as superdupolous as they could be, but neither are they horrifically bad, either. Just cruisin’ along, in the middle lane, wondering when it’ll hit the fan again.

Here’s an annoyance: We’re going to see Alice Cooper next week. His new CD is awesome. Only two songs I don’t care for. I looked at his current setlist yesterday and noticed he’s playing only two songs from the new CD… and one of them is one of the two that I don’t like. 😐

Still going to be a good show, though. He has lots of great material.

Another phrase I like, and from Alice Cooper:
“I ain’t evil,
I’m just good lookin'”
Opening lyrics from “Feed My Frankenstein”

Perfect example. Yes, there is an annoying aspect there, but there’s also an awesome counterbalance. What’s a grump to do?  <shrug>

By Annoyances, Disbelief2 Comments

Do You Hate Your Kids?

Oh, I know. You want little precious to be unique. To stand out from the crowd. They should have their own identity and a special personality, and all that. At least that’s what you say when explaining it. Not sure I buy it, though.

Made-up ridiculous names are bad enough. You’ve already sentenced your child to a lifetime of saying, “Do you want fries with that?” But what’s really evil and insidious is burdening your kid with one of those absurd spellings of a common name. That’s completely uncalled for. For example… It’s not Kelleigh, it’s Kelly. Or, Kelli, which was the extent of silly creativity when I was a kid (get off my lawn!). Is it Heather, or Heathyr? Abigail, or Abiagael? Quinn, or Kwynn? Channyn is not Shannon. (I looked all these up, seriously.)

You must hate your kids. That’s the only logical explanation.  You must have a sadistic side that relishes watching them correct people and spell their names to everybody for their entire freakin’ lives. I mean, really, why else would you do that to them?

I read an announcement recently introducing Jaci.  I thought, “Jaci, like Macy, or Casey.”  Then I read further and saw the disclaimer, “(Pronounced Jackie.)”  Ummm… if you have to pre-emptively explain it, you’re doing it wrong.

Then there’s the extreme edge of ludicrous. Not Jacob, but Gakub. I bet he got called ‘Gay Cub’ a lot in school. I know, you’re reading this shaking your head and thinking it can’t get any worse, right? But wait, there’s more. How about… wait for it… KVIIIlyn? It’s obvious, right? This can be explained, which is good because it needs to be explained. Spelling with numbers… think Roman numerals. Not K-8-lyn, but K-VIII-lyn, pronounced Kaitlyn. 😐 Those parents should be prosecuted for child abuse.

And if you don’t know how to spell what you want? Why, just guess, like this mother did…

One of my English teachers once had a student with a name listed as “Johnhatten”, and she pronounced it as “John-hat-in” For a very long time.

One day, Johnhatten approached my teacher and said, “My name isn’t actually John-hat-in. It’s actually Jonathan.”

Apparently his mom wanted to name him Jonathan, but she and the nurse who was writing the birth certificate didn’t know how to spell it.

Works every time.

I was in line at a local hardware store one day and the teen girl who was checking me out… No, not like that! Get your head out of the gutter. Sheez!… was named Baighleigh. It took me over thirty seconds looking at her name tag for me to properly decipher her freakin’ name. Bailey, btw.

As someone who has had to spell their surname since Day One I know full well that this is a major pain in the rear end, so why saddle that rear end pain on your kid on purpose?  When people ask me my last name I just start spelling it for them, because I know that 99% of the time they will ask. (Then I get the, “Oh, just like it sounds.” response. 😐 Yes, just like it sounds) But it’s a surname, you’re pretty much stuck with it. It’s not a chosen name that you foist on someone else against their will.

Here’s the bottom line. Don’t be mean to your kids. Some countries you have to actually choose from a limited list of approved names. We don’t need to go that far, but we also need to stop making our kid’s lives more difficult than they need to be.  They will have their own identity no matter what you do, and it’ll be from their own personalities, not incidental cutsie stuff.

By Annoyances, Observations7 Comments