Category: What’s on TV?

Why Are You Here?, Part Uno

The Grump is a participant of social media groups for social interaction and entertainment.  They can range from serious and political to irreverently humorous to specific topics such as tv shows, etc., and there’s always some schmuck wanting to ruin everyone else’s fun.  You have to ask, “Why are you here?”

For example:  The Grump belongs to a Andy Griffith Show Facebook fan page.  People discuss the show, ask questions, and generally interact, all light-hearted and fun… well, mostly.  Some of the questions are simply “what if” type scenarios.  One “what if” scenario might go like this…

George will ask: “Why didn’t Andy fire Barney for always being incompetent?”

Time-out:  Ok, we all know it wouldn’t have been funny if Andy had fired Barney and everything were totally serious.  We all know it is a farcical situation comedy that relies on the absurd to succeed and entertain viewers.  To continue, time-in…

In pops John:  “Because that’s not the way the show was written.”

😐

Really, John?  That’s your contribution, Caption Obvious?  Pretty sure everyone knows this.  You are not helping or even legitimately contributing to the spirit of the conversation in any meaningful way.

John, dude, why are you even here?  Why did you join a discussion group if you want to discourage discussion?

By Annoyances, Observations, What's on TV?Leave a Comment

Was There a Game?

Last week there was a reasonably important football game on television.  Whole days and drunken get-togethers are wrapped around this event, so for poops and cackles I will give a run-down how my day went.

First off, I normally do not watch football anymore.  I have a few favorite teams, but know few players, so there’s that.

The ridiculously long pre-game show I did not watch.  Nothing but repetitive crap, and I mean crap.  Mundane empty interviews.  Pedantic player profiles,  You get the idea.

The “start time” for the game was something like 5:30 pm, local time.  But that’s just the television start time.  The game itself, after the pomp and circumstances, overly-dramatic singing of the National Anthem, absurdly drama-ish flipping of the coin, long drawn-out player introductions, the meeting of a foot on the ball is usually 30 to 45 minutes after that.  I skipped that, too.

I tuned in roughly 6:20 pm, the 1st quarter was roughly half over.  One team was up 7-0, but I really hadn’t missed anything.  I no longer give a crap about the commercials, either.  Look, can we be serious?  The commercials have long been over-hyped for at least 30 years.  I’m sorry, but they’re no longer the big deal so many people still think they are.

Ok, so half-time is coming up, just about zero time, so I change the channel.  I have no interest in the ridiculously long performances, either.  I heard it was good.  Don’t care.  I had to give sufficient time so I didn’t tune back in until half way into the 3rd quarter.

Oh, last play, zero countdown… switch the channel, I’m gone.  Don’t need or want mind-numbing shallow post-game interviews, either.

Long story short, why isn’t it about the GAME anymore?  Does anyone really like all that superfluous crap?  And don’t even get me start on the insipid highlighting of celebrities throughout the entire game.  Does anyone really care?  Anyone?

By Annoyances, Soap Box, What's on TV?Leave a Comment

Five Rule Changes “Wheel of Fortune” Needs to Be Better

Everything needs improvement, even the game show Wheel of Fortune, so here’s some rule changes The Grump would like to see…

  1. Cannot guess vowels 2 times in a row. Guess a vowel, then you have to guess a consonant before you are allowed to guess another vowel.
  2. Vacation prizes should not count toward the person’s winnings for getting to the final round.  It’s not fair to the other contestants as the vacation almost always seals the deal and shuts everybody else out.
  3. With the exception of the million dollar prize panel, Bankrupt should count for that puzzle round only.  In other words, if you win a “Wild Card” in puzzle one, landing on Bankrupt in puzzle 3 would have no effect, you get to keep the Wild Card.
  4. Any ‘free ride’ (guessing without contestants spinning the wheel), i.e. Express, Toss-ups, etc., should be consonants only.
  5. The letters K, Q, X, and Z, should be double value… including in the final round for the entire prize money, but only if you called it in your added letters.

Some added suggestions, but not totally necessary.

  • Game shows should be legally required to pay taxes on all winnings.
  • Require contestants to “bet the house”, put something up of value like in gambling.  That’d make it interesting.  I could hear it now… contestant loses, Pat says, “Ok, guys, take away the furniture!”

Thoughts?

By Observations, What's on TV?One Comment

What’s on TV, Pt 2

Green Acres.  But I digress, already.

What do we learn from TV?

Missy and I… ok, just *I*… watch Forensic Files.  A lot.  Often.  I’ve seen every episode at least four times.  It doesn’t help when Netflix has them all, plus Hulu, and other channels, so I can watch them  like they vote in Chicago… early and often.

I now mostly watch them as background noise when I want to do something but don’t want to be distracted because it also interests me.  I’ve seen them all so I have no need to be riveted anymore.

Anyways, what would we learn from Forensic Files?  A friend of mine feels shows like this are irresponsible, they teach people how to get away with crimes.  I don’t see it that way.  Before I go on I will say that I have learn some things along these lines.  For example…

  1. …should you ever find yourself in an interrogation room… SHUT UP!!!  Even honest police will say only an idiot speaks when potentially in legal trouble, and it matters not if you’re innocent or guilty.
  2. …A second thing I have learned is:  Police lie.  Legally.  It is illegal for you to lie to them, but it is perfectly legal, encouraged even, for them to lie to you.  (In the US)  If they tell you Jimmy ratted you out… maybe, maybe not.  Go back to #1, shut up.
  3. …A third thing I’ve learned is:  If you have committed a crime, especially something like murder or robbery, throw away every single piece of clothing you were wearing.  Everything.  Preferably each piece in a different dumpster with the minimum distance between each dumpster being 30 miles.
  4. …Do not ever use a credit card when purchasing your “murder supplies”.  Cash only.  A minimum of 50 miles from anywhere you might otherwise go, and a store which you never normally patronize.  And for the love of God, even when you do use cash, do not then use your loyalty card.  It’s mind-boggling this even has to be said, but I have watched countless people get life in prison because they wanted to save 35c on duct tape.
  5. But the biggest thing I’ve learned is:  Don’t even do it, because if they want to find you bad enough, they will.

Another aspect is the police will also search your social media history if you’re a suspect… spare me the euphemistic “person of interest” crap, if they talking to you you’re a suspect… but I have no intention to commit a crime, so there ya go.

Oh, and for the record… Missy always gets sucked in, too, and we end up discussing it together.

By Observations, What's on TV?One Comment

What’s on TV?

“Honey hole.”

Is it just me, but doesn’t that sound almost obscene?  Almost pornographic?

Well, that’s an odd way to start a post.

It’s been a lazy inside snow day, and The Wife Missy and I have been putzing around, wasting boatloads of time on the internet, and watch tv.  Primarily American Pickers, which the above is Mike Wolf’s favorite saying when he finds a pick that is especially promising.  Maybe it’s the inner 12 year old in me, but I giggle every time he says that.

Of course we could be watching Forensic Files.  I’ve seen the entire series on, oh, maybe four times.  I don’t even pay attention anymore, I just use it for background noise.  Bores Missy to tears, though.

Then there’s Forrest Gump… but that’s all I have to say about that.

The theme here, of course, is that on a Saturday there’s nothing on tv.  Missy likes Pickers, and I’m fine with it, so all is good.

By Daily Life, Old Age, What's on TV?Leave a Comment