Why Are You Here?, Part Uno

The Grump is a participant of social media groups for social interaction and entertainment.  They can range from serious and political to irreverently humorous to specific topics such as tv shows, etc., and there’s always some schmuck wanting to ruin everyone else’s fun.  You have to ask, “Why are you here?”

For example:  The Grump belongs to a Andy Griffith Show Facebook fan page.  People discuss the show, ask questions, and generally interact, all light-hearted and fun… well, mostly.  Some of the questions are simply “what if” type scenarios.  One “what if” scenario might go like this…

George will ask: “Why didn’t Andy fire Barney for always being incompetent?”

Time-out:  Ok, we all know it wouldn’t have been funny if Andy had fired Barney and everything were totally serious.  We all know it is a farcical situation comedy that relies on the absurd to succeed and entertain viewers.  To continue, time-in…

In pops John:  “Because that’s not the way the show was written.”

😐

Really, John?  That’s your contribution, Caption Obvious?  Pretty sure everyone knows this.  You are not helping or even lebitimately contributing to the spirit of the conversation in any meaningful way.

John, dude, why are you even here?  Why did you join a discussion group if you want to discourage discussion?

5 Things I Will Never Understand

We don’t need no pre-amble, let’s just get to it.  The title is self-explanatory.

1. Why my printer cannot scan when it is out of ink/toner. I totally get why it cannot print or make copies, but why can’t it scan?  Why can’t fax?  The conspiracy theorist in me says it’s for no other reason than to force you to get out and buy more ink/toner.  That’s the big money-maker for them, anyway.

2. Typing states in forms.  When filling out a form you literally fill out every line… except the state.  You get a pull-down, instead.  You’re on a roll typing then have to come to a screeching stop and pick an option.  Eh, I guess they figure most people don’t know their state’s two-letter abbreviation.

3. Why there needs to be a “cancel” button on a toaster.  What the deuce?  Back in the day… when I walked to school in the snow uphill both ways… you simply pushed the lever up.  And it worked just fine.  Why wouldn’t that still work?

4. Why “the little people” donate to political campaigns.  After the election you are no longer important to them.  Plus, “neck-and-neck” races end up being 10 point blow-outs, anyway.

5. Why people thank Facebook group administrators for approving their membership in the group.  Is there a skeleton in your closet as to why they might not?

So there ya go.  A handful of life’s mysteries.

…and Go!

Stop it.  Just stop it.

Where you see this is primarily on social media, someone asking for a recommendation, i.e.: “Who is the best toenail clipper in Metropolis… and Go!”

Excuse me?

Fuck you.

I’m not your little personal assistant.  Asking for ideas and recommendations is cool.  Adding this tag at the end that treats everybody in the world as their personal concierge service is rude and tacky.  Just stop it.  You’re not that special to expect everyone to jump at your whim.

Even if you’re not appreciative, you should still show some couth and act like you are.

I can say truthfully when I see “…and go!” I will pro-actively NOT “go”, but I also know it’s something of an empty stubbornness on my part because you will invariably get 45 different people offering 45 different “bests”, which makes me wonder what people get out of it anyway… but that’s another topic for another post.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Concert Etiquette

Attending a loud rock concert is supposed to be a fun event. Oh, it has its drawbacks, i.e. tight crowds, price gouging for souvenirs and refreshments, herding around with the random masses, partial hearing loss for a day and a half, etc., but we’re willing to forge ahead for the entertainment. Right?

One would think. Yet some don’t seem to know this. There is a definite lack of consideration for others. People’s attitudes in everything anymore seems to be, “I got mine, fuck you!”, so why should a concert be any different?

It’s time we be reminded of some “guidelines” for concert attending. Some of these also apply to movies, sporting events, and other places where large crowds gather and attention to the event is desired.

1. Arrive early enough to get your souvenirs, get your refreshments, use the potty, and be in your seat when the lights go down and the music starts. A band often starts their set with a popular song, and here you are climbing over people and/or making them get up and move around awkwardly because you can’t manage your time. Sorry, not sorry, that’s rude.

2. Relating to one item in #1, potty before you sit down. Potty during intermission. Potty after the show is over.

3. Why are you attending a concert if getting up every 15 minutes to go get another beer is your #1 priority?

4. Hate to break it to you, but that audio/video footage from your phone is going to be crap. Too many people have no idea other people behind them actually want to see the show and will hold their phone up to record entire songs. Newsflash: I don’t want to see the show through your phone screen. Live in the moment, if you have to raise your phone above your own eyes, just… don’t.

5. Shades of point #1, the show is about 3 minutes from being over… the band is rocking and concluding with an over-the-top finish… and here you are climbing over people and/or making them stand up and move awkwardly around, missing the show’s climax… all because you want to “beat the traffic” on the way out. Really? Seriously? This is, by far, the most selfish and inconsiderate thing you can do at a concert.

6. …and I will catch crap for this, but… SIT DOWN!!! Especially if you’re in the balcony or far enough away from the stage the performers will never see you standing anyway. If you want to dance around and stuff, more power to ya, but go to the back and do it there so others can enjoy the show in their own way as much as you want to enjoy it.