Category: Driving

Rant: Idiot Drivers

And no, I don’t mean just Iowa.  I mean idiot drivers everywhere.  I mean the morons who refuse to turn their headlights on in inclement weather.  Rain, snow, fog, and so on.  And what are the most common lame excuses?  They are…

1) “Having my headlights on don’t allow me to see any better.”

Yes, I have actually had people say this to me.  Hey, idiot, headlights on in bad weather is not for you to see better, it’s for other people to better see you.  Duh!!!

I come from the central valley in California, with some of the worst Tule Fog imaginable.  Fog so dense you often feel the only thing guiding you is the lines on the road.  “Driving by braille” we often called it (many California roadways have raised line markers), and the ONLY thing that clued you in to an oncoming car was their headlights.  You for a 2 second warning.  Cars with no headlights on you wouldn’t be aware of until they were right on top of you.

Most places, such as Iowa, don’t have fog nearly that bad, which actually makes your headlights more important because you can get a decent sense of who else is on the road.

2) “My headlights are automatic and activated by a sensor.”

😐

Seriously?  That’s your excuse?  Don’t be irresponsible.  Are you in charge of your car, or is your car in charge of you?  Think.  Be aware of your responsibilities as a safe driver and take  control.  Be pro-active.  Override your automatic system and manually turn on your headlights, if necessary.  To blame it on your automatic sensor is pure laziness and abdication of responsibility.

Bottom line:  Don’t be an idiot driver.  This has been your driving PSA for today.

By Driving, RantOne Comment

Rant: The “Dumb Run”

A few weeks ago I pontificated about running and jogging and the questionable mental capacity of the people who do this stuff BY CHOICE! That was a fun piece to write, and I enjoyed putting it together and especially choosing the photos, and there was some tongue-in-cheekiness to it. Some. Today, however, comes a rant involving not running per se but runners. Dumb runners.

Scenario: 6:15 am. It’s dark out, sunrise is still about a half hour away, though you can see some light juuuuuust starting to come over the horizon. Driving down a semi-rural road, no sidewalks, no street lights, lots of houses, but spaced apart and in a heavily wooded area. Aaaaaand, the runner.

Dressed in pretty much all black. Black shoes, black sweat pants, black hoodie pulled over his face because it’s also cold out. Running across the street. I could barely see the silhouette of the guy, literally. I dub thee “the dumb run”.

There’s another guy who runs this same route and time, but at least that guy wears a bright yellow safety vest with lots of reflective markings. Personally, I still think that’s kind of dumb as well, but not nearly as much as this other guy who seems to be impersonating a Sasquatch that doesn’t want to be seen.

See this image I included? That’s what this guy looks like to drivers. Clearly discernible… not! I think I’m pretty sure I speak for other drivers when I say that I don’t want to be part of his Darwin Award epitaph.

By Disbelief, Driving, Mornings, RantOne Comment

Iowa Drivers, Pt 2

This bumper sticker should be issued to all native Iowa drivers upon passing the test.

Iowans are, for the most part, unquestioningly nice. Exceedingly nice. The jerk percentage of the population is far less than in pretty much any other place I’ve been. And this is precisely why I love Iowans. They’re wonderful people, really. But… there’s always a ‘but’, isn’t there?… this might explain their driving habits. They’re trying too hard to be nice. Case in point…

You come to a four way stop, and there are researched and approved rules of driving etiquette and law regarding who goes first, but in Iowa nobody goes. Everybody just sits there looking at each other. When I’m one of the four, I go, whether it’s my turn, or not. Hey, somebody’s gotta break the ice, right?

Oh, and God forbid that one of the four cars is a cop. Phfft, might as well turn off the engine and take a nap.

On occasion I will come across someone who is just as aggressive as I am. This always takes me aback. I’ve become so accustomed to wimpy drivers that it literally shocks me when someone is as aggressive as I am. I immediately think, “Whoa. That’s person’s from out-of-state.”, just like I am. There are too few of us.

Part 2.1

Ok, this isn’t an Iowa driver rant, per se, but it is driving related, and is about an Iowa driver. I worked a 12 hour day today. On the way home I’m the second car behind another car that is driving incredibly slow, almost creeping along. Contrary to my usual self, I wasn’t annoyed, but I did want to move faster. As they make the left turn I see these big bright reflective letters on the back of the vehicle… STUDENT DRIVER.

*sigh*

Since I was going the same way, and I was in a part of town where there are no reasonable alternatives, I resigned myself to settling in for the ride. Make the best of a bad situation, right? Besides, I was blasting some B-52s, so it wasn’t all bad.

Anyway… did I mention they were slow?… we proceed down the road, and going uphill I had to actually downshift to second gear (I drive a stick) because we were barely breaking 20 mph. Then we come to a four way stop… with them virtually coming to a stop 100 yards before the intersection, they were so cautious.

😐

At least the driving gods were smiling upon me and the student driver put on their blinker for a left turn. They then, in true aspiring Iowa driver fashion… as if we don’t have enough of them already… proceeded to just sit there while more cars than had the right-of-way made their turns.

*facepalm*

When they finally did navigate their turn, they would have moved backward if they went any slower. Driving instructors must be saintly. Or on Valium.  That’s all I can figure. I had this vision of the instructor losing their patience and screaming, “JUST GO ALREADY!!!” I mean, that’s what I would do.

😐

I would not make a good driving instructor.

By Disbelief, DrivingOne Comment

Iowa Drivers, Pt 1

Yes, this one’s going to be a multi-parter.  Shoot, might end up a series.  There’s a lot to be said on this topic and I have only limited space… and limited attention span.  Now, I am a native Californian, born and raised and lived most of my life in California, and driving-wise I fit right in when I lived there.  Add to that some German Autobahn experience and I do feel that my driving abilities and skills are above average, albeit admittedly aggressive.  California and Californians have many flaws, but we know how to drive.  Now, don’t get me wrong, in so many ways Iowans are nicer and more pleasurable to hang with, they’re all-around good people, and I love Iowans to the ends of the Earth, but let’s be fully honest here… you people (Iowans) simply suck at driving!

I almost break down into a full belly laugh when I hear an Iowan complain about how bad Iowa drivers are.  Seriously?  I’m sure they mean other Iowa drivers, of course.  What I want to know is: Has this person never been outside the state?  You have no idea what lies outside the borders of your fine state.  Iowa drivers are tame, timid, meek.  Whenever I see an aggressive Iowa driver I presume they’re like me, a transplant.  Otherwise, I feel like I’m on the road with a bunch of Mr Rogerses and Mary Poppinses <gollum>.  Let’s just put it this way… “Iowa nice” and 4-way stop intersections don’t mix.

Today is a good example.  While driving home from work I managed to get behind no less than five people… count ’em, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… who, while making a right turn into a parking lot, felt the need to come to an almost complete stop in the middle of the traffic lane before making their turn.  What the hell, people?!?  It’s maddening.  Those of you who have never been here won’t understand. Those of you who are transplants are nodding your head and are as annoyed as I am.  Those of you who are from here probably think, “Yeah, so? I’m being safe.  I don’t want my car to roll over.” Dude, it’s not a tractor.  <insert eye roll here>

To make it worse, Iowans drive their shopping carts the same way they drive their cars.  So there they are, tooling down the aisle, they see something they want, so they wander off and LEAVE THE CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE!!!  And it’s not like this is a rare few doing this.  You’d think they are completely unaware that there are other people behind them who want to get somewhere.  (What a concept!)  And no, this is a common occurrence, as if it’s an embedded mindset, genes in the corn, or something.  Tra-la-la.  I’m the only one here… on the road… in the market… it’s just me.

C’mon people, clear the fog of blindness from your eyes and get on the stick and get out of the way.

By Driving3 Comments