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Yes, this one’s going to be a multi-parter.\u00a0 Shoot, might end up a series.\u00a0 There’s a lot to be said on this topic and I have only limited space… and limited attention span.\u00a0 Now, I am a native Californian, born and raised and lived most of my life in California, and driving-wise I fit right in when I lived there.\u00a0 Add to that some German Autobahn experience and I do feel that my driving abilities and skills are above average, albeit admittedly aggressive.\u00a0 California and Californians have many flaws, but we know how to drive.\u00a0 Now, don’t get me wrong, in so many ways Iowans are nicer and more pleasurable to hang with, they’re all-around good people, and I love Iowans to the ends of the Earth, but let’s be fully honest here… you people (Iowans) simply suck at driving!<\/p>\n
I almost break down into a full belly laugh when I hear an Iowan complain about how bad Iowa drivers are.\u00a0 Seriously?\u00a0 I’m sure they mean other Iowa drivers, of course.\u00a0 What I want to know is: Has this person never been outside the state?\u00a0 You have no idea what lies outside the borders of your fine state.\u00a0 Iowa drivers are tame, timid, meek.\u00a0 Whenever I see an aggressive Iowa driver I presume they’re like me, a transplant.\u00a0 Otherwise, I feel like I’m on the road with a bunch of Mr Rogerses and Mary Poppinses <gollum>.\u00a0 Let’s just put it this way… “Iowa nice” and 4-way stop intersections don’t mix.<\/p>\n
Today is a good example.\u00a0 While driving home from work I managed to get behind no less than five people… count ’em, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… who, while making a right turn into a parking lot, felt the need to come to an almost complete stop in the middle of the traffic lane before making their turn.\u00a0 What the hell, people?!?\u00a0 It’s maddening.\u00a0 Those of you who have never been here won’t understand. Those of you who are transplants are nodding your head and are as annoyed as I am.\u00a0 Those of you who are from here probably think, “Yeah, so? I’m being safe.\u00a0 I don’t want my car to roll over.” Dude, it’s not a tractor.\u00a0 <insert eye roll here><\/p>\n
To make it worse, Iowans drive their shopping carts the same way they drive their cars.\u00a0 So there they are, tooling down the aisle, they see something they want, so they wander off and LEAVE THE CART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE!!!\u00a0 And it’s not like this is a rare few doing this.\u00a0 You’d think they are completely unaware that there are other people behind them who want to get somewhere.\u00a0 (What a concept!)\u00a0 And no, this is a common occurrence, as if it’s an embedded mindset, genes in the corn, or something.\u00a0 Tra-la-la.\u00a0 I’m the only one here… on the road… in the market… it’s just me.<\/em><\/p>\n C’mon people, clear the fog of blindness from your eyes and get on the stick and get out of the way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Yes, this one’s going to be a multi-parter.\u00a0 Shoot, might end up a series.\u00a0 There’s a lot to be said on this topic and I have only limited space… and limited attention span.\u00a0 Now, I am a native Californian, born and raised and lived most of my life in California, and driving-wise I fit right […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-driving"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":90,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/90"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}