{"id":594,"date":"2019-01-13T21:25:30","date_gmt":"2019-01-14T03:25:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/?p=594"},"modified":"2019-01-13T21:25:30","modified_gmt":"2019-01-14T03:25:30","slug":"pre-packaged-vegetables-damn-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/2019\/01\/13\/pre-packaged-vegetables-damn-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Pre-packaged vegetables&#8230; damn them!"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_597\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-597\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-597 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/carrots-vegetables-300x149.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"149\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/carrots-vegetables-300x149.jpg 300w, https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/carrots-vegetables.jpg 581w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-597\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Carrots, just in case you&#8217;re one of those people who never eats vegetables and aren&#8217;t sure.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Damn the grocery store produce manager, I mean.\u00a0 This is serious.\u00a0 It&#8217;s all about them when it&#8217;s supposed to be about me.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s how it goes down.\u00a0 I decide to eat healthy.\u00a0 I select a scrumptious recipe that has&#8230; &lt;gulp!&gt;&#8230; vegetables.\u00a0 (Remember, I said this was serious!)\u00a0 Anyway, I scan the internet for something appealing&#8230; I plan my meal&#8230; I write down the ingredients I need for said recipe&#8230; I pack the dog away so I can leave&#8230; I leave and head to the store&#8230; I turn around and go back home to get my list&#8230; I get back in the car after trying to get the dog to calm down after being hopefully excited that I&#8217;m home for good (to service him, of course, it&#8217;s all about the dog)&#8230; I drive to the store&#8230; I get annoyed at the parking&#8230; I grumble at the cluster-eff of people in my way&#8230; I make my way to the produce section.<\/p>\n<p>I have arrived!\u00a0 Now time to &#8216;be healthy&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>I need a carrot to spruce up my dish, make it a little more colorful, add a few extra vitamins, ya know?\u00a0 Please note my specific working here.\u00a0 I need <strong>A<\/strong> carrot.\u00a0 One.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t eat carrots often.\u00a0 So what do I see?\u00a0 I see bags of sliced carrots, baby carrots, and 5-10 lb economy bags of whole carrots, the literal bag-o-carrots that even Bugs Bunny would be hard-pressed to consume.\u00a0 What happened to the loose carrots?\u00a0 Back in my day&#8230; get off my lawn!&#8230; there&#8217;d be a huge bin of loose carrots, allowing me to sift through them and pick the one perfect carrot for my needs.<\/p>\n<p>It worked for me.\u00a0 It seemed to work well for everyone.\u00a0 I cannot recall ever hearing a complaint.<\/p>\n<p>What was wrong with that set up?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Damn the grocery store produce manager, I mean.\u00a0 This is serious.\u00a0 It&#8217;s all about them when it&#8217;s supposed to be about me. Here&#8217;s how it goes down.\u00a0 I decide to eat healthy.\u00a0 I select a scrumptious recipe that has&#8230; &lt;gulp!&gt;&#8230; vegetables.\u00a0 (Remember, I said this was serious!)\u00a0 Anyway, I scan the internet for something appealing&#8230; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-annoyances","category-retail"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=594"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":601,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions\/601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}