{"id":586,"date":"2018-12-24T13:56:33","date_gmt":"2018-12-24T19:56:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/?p=586"},"modified":"2018-12-24T14:00:40","modified_gmt":"2018-12-24T20:00:40","slug":"rules-to-live-by-vol-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/2018\/12\/24\/rules-to-live-by-vol-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Rules to Live By, Vol. 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes people simply need to be told, and I’m gonna tell ya.\u00a0 I’m probably going to have to tell some people that these points are self-explanatory, so here we go…<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. When a stranger or casual acquaintance asks, “How are you?”, they’re not actually expecting an answer.\u00a0 (Unless you’re like me when I’m in a mood, and I do answer… in great detail.)<\/li>\n
  2. Don’t say, “Ewwww!”, in response to what someone else is eating.<\/li>\n
  3. When talking with someone on the phone, don’t talk to someone else in the room.<\/li>\n
  4. When visiting someone for a meal, offer to help clean up.\u00a0 If they decline, offer once more.\u00a0 If they still decline, drop it!<\/li>\n
  5. Don’t take the ur\"\"inal next to an already occupied urinal, unless no others are available.\u00a0 This is simple unwritten ‘urinal etiquette’.<\/li>\n
  6. When someone else is buying a meal, don’t order the most expensive item.\u00a0 Try and have them order first, then follow along in the same or lesser price range.\u00a0 If they insist you order first, pick something somewhere from the cheapest to roughly mid-price.<\/li>\n
  7. Always hold the door open for the person behind you, male or female is irrelevant.\u00a0 Say ‘thank you’ when it is done for you.<\/li>\n
  8. Middle names are for use only by mothers when you’re in trouble.<\/li>\n
  9. Don’t ask shy or introverted people, “What’s wrong?”, or otherwise bring attention to their quietness.\u00a0 It only makes them even more self-conscious.<\/li>\n
  10. Never… ever… makes plans in front of people you’re not involving.<\/li>\n
  11. Close your mouth while chewing\/eating.<\/li>\n
  12. In the grocery store, when you change your mind about an item, put it back where it properly goes.\u00a0 Especially do NOT abandon frozen or refrigerated items at random.<\/li>\n
  13. If you borrow someone’s car, before you return it fill up the gas tank, and clean out trash (even if not yours).<\/li>\n
  14. Don’t let your dog jump on people.\u00a0 (There is an understandable training period to this.)<\/li>\n
  15. Praise publicly and often.<\/li>\n
  16. Don’t talk to people while wearing sunglasses.\u00a0 It’s rude.<\/li>\n
  17. Don’t expect someone’s else’s food to get cold just because you haven’t been served yet.<\/li>\n
  18. Don’t answer someone’s thoughtful email with just, “k”.<\/li>\n
  19. Don’t stop in the middle of a busy sidewalk or aisle.<\/li>\n
  20. Don’t read every word in your PowerPoint presentation.<\/li>\n
  21. Don’t expect someone to not talk about the hot new movie a month after its release.\u00a0 You get one week of consideration, that’s it.<\/li>\n
  22. Don’t bring toddlers to movie theaters or loud concerts.<\/li>\n
  23. Knock before entering your kid’s bedroom.<\/li>\n
  24. Compliments on people’s appearance is fine, just once, though, and don’t overdo it.<\/li>\n
  25. The customer is not always right.\u00a0 It’s ok to tell some people to just get the eff out.\u00a0 (Remember, the theme of this post is that some people need to be told.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42 )<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You know there’s going to be a Vol. 2.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sometimes people simply need to be told, and I’m gonna tell ya.\u00a0 I’m probably going to have to tell some people that these points are self-explanatory, so here we go… When a stranger or casual acquaintance asks, “How are you?”, they’re not actually expecting an answer.\u00a0 (Unless you’re like me when I’m in a mood, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,10,17,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-annoyances","category-daily-life","category-observations","category-pet-peeve"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=586"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":592,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions\/592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}