{"id":44,"date":"2017-08-20T01:05:00","date_gmt":"2017-08-20T06:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/?p=44"},"modified":"2017-08-20T02:01:27","modified_gmt":"2017-08-20T07:01:27","slug":"do-you-want-fries-with-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/2017\/08\/20\/do-you-want-fries-with-that\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you want fries with that?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"“Do you want fries with that?”<\/p>\n

<blank stare><\/p>\n

“Did I say I wanted fries?\u00a0 No.”<\/p>\n

Do I actually say that?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Not anymore.\u00a0 Contrary to popular belief, and contrary to standard curmudgeonly customs and expectations, I have gained some sense of couth and social refinement over the years.\u00a0 Now, I will admit that I want<\/strong> to say that every single time, but I never do.\u00a0 I mean, that would be rude, right?<\/p>\n

Besides, I don’t want anyone spitting in my food.\u00a0 Practical considerations, ya know.<\/p>\n

Yeah yeah yeah, it’s called ‘suggestive selling’, or ‘upselling’, and employees are told to do it because it’s quite effective.\u00a0 I have read many sources who claim corporations make boatloads of extra money just by adding an extra item here and there.\u00a0 It boggles my brain cells that so many people fall for it.\u00a0 Yet, in the interest of full honesty, I cannot claim that I have never fallen for it.\u00a0 Every now and then, rarely, even though I know what they’re doing, they will suggest something that appeals to my weaknesses and I will succumb.\u00a0 As a general rule, however, even if it sounds good, and even if I want what they are suggesting, I will politely decline just as a matter of principle.\u00a0 I have been known to decline even though I was just about to order what they suggested.\u00a0 I’m kind of stubborn that way.\u00a0 I’ll show ’em!<\/p>\n

Coming into the adult world, I love a good margarita.\u00a0 Must be frozen\/blended.\u00a0 I call them “Adult Slurpees”, and I am a sucker for a good Slurpee, with or without tequila.\u00a0 When I order one, though, they usually try to upsell me to a higher grade tequila.\u00a0 I have been known to respond, “I’m not sophisticated enough to know the difference, so no thank you.”<\/p>\n

I always get an annoyed stare in return.\u00a0 They never laugh.\u00a0 <shrug>\u00a0 Plus, after two I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, anyway, so no, I’m not paying the extra money for a higher-end tequila.<\/p>\n

I’m kind of stubborn that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Do you want fries with that?” <blank stare> “Did I say I wanted fries?\u00a0 No.” Do I actually say that?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Not anymore.\u00a0 Contrary to popular belief, and contrary to standard curmudgeonly customs and expectations, I have gained some sense of couth and social refinement over the years.\u00a0 Now, I will admit that I want […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pet-peeve","category-restaurants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":67,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions\/67"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}