{"id":268,"date":"2017-12-24T22:16:48","date_gmt":"2017-12-25T04:16:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/?p=268"},"modified":"2017-12-24T22:36:52","modified_gmt":"2017-12-25T04:36:52","slug":"it-tastes-just-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/2017\/12\/24\/it-tastes-just-like\/","title":{"rendered":"It Tastes Just Like&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-271 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/bad-food-287x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"287\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/bad-food-287x300.png 287w, https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/bad-food.png 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px\" \/>Stop!\u00a0 Halt!\u00a0 Cease and desist!<\/p>\n<p>No, it doesn&#8217;t. It&#8217;s bad enough that you&#8217;re lying to me, though I know better so it&#8217;s a hollow claim, but it&#8217;s sad that you&#8217;re lying to yourself. Is that what you really need to do to get yourself to choke down that healthy replacement of the real thing? I mean, c&#8217;mon, even dogs aren&#8217;t interested, and they eat cat poop.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Margarine is not butter, and the two don&#8217;t taste remotely the same. &#8220;I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s not butter&#8221;, my arse!\u00a0 They should be jailed for false advertising.<\/li>\n<li>Mashed cauliflower is not the same as mashed potatoes. To suggest so is an affront to all that is pure and holy.<\/li>\n<li>Tofu. Oh yay&#8230; tofu. \ud83d\ude10\u00a0 But but but&#8230; it takes on the taste of whatever you cook it with. Oh, goodie, I have to add bacon and butter to get it to taste like bacon and butter. And let&#8217;s not even start about the lack of consistency. Bleh!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now, it may taste good. That&#8217;s fine. That&#8217;s totally acceptable and believable. Just don&#8217;t insult me by claiming it tastes &#8220;just like&#8221; the real version, the version that even you know you prefer better, because if you didn&#8217;t think the original was better you wouldn&#8217;t be trying so hard to replicate it. If you have to &#8220;doctor it up&#8221; to get it to taste the same&#8230; which is impossible, but for the sake of conversation we&#8217;ll go with it&#8230; then you&#8217;re only kidding yourself. You can put a Mercedes emblem on a Yugo and it&#8217;s still a Yugo. Just suck it up and say it tastes good and leave it at that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stop!\u00a0 Halt!\u00a0 Cease and desist! No, it doesn&#8217;t. It&#8217;s bad enough that you&#8217;re lying to me, though I know better so it&#8217;s a hollow claim, but it&#8217;s sad that you&#8217;re lying to yourself. Is that what you really need to do to get yourself to choke down that healthy replacement of the real thing? I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=268"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":273,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions\/273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}