{"id":142,"date":"2017-09-20T17:30:24","date_gmt":"2017-09-20T22:30:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/?p=142"},"modified":"2017-09-20T18:22:52","modified_gmt":"2017-09-20T23:22:52","slug":"the-fun-run","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/2017\/09\/20\/the-fun-run\/","title":{"rendered":"The “Fun” Run"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Fun run<\/p>\n

“Fun” run.<\/p>\n

“Fun run”, said no one ever… except the seriously masochistic. Profuse sweating. Stinky body odor. The look of having just been ravaged by a gaggle of Kardashians because you had a Coach purse coupon in your hand. Where’s the fun in that?<\/p>\n

“Oh, but Ken, you just don’t get it.” No, I get it. I mean, who else gets up at 4:30 in the morning, in the middle of January, bundles up like they’re Nanook of the North in clothing that could withstand a polar bear attack, suffer frostbite of the lungs from the heavy breathing, just so they can run in the dark and dodge cars of sane people driving nice warm cars with heat to work?<\/p>\n

\"\"Or, strips down to almost nothing, and goes to sweat all to hell in the hot humid summer? (Although, there is something to be said for exercise sweat on the ladies… just sayin’.)<\/p>\n

Then there’s the facial expressions of runners while they’re doing it. Pain. Discomfort. Drudgery. There’s a reason that running has been used as a punishment or torture in some societies, and this is it. Those looks of utter grueling distress are all too real. Let’s be honest, marathon finishers only smile because it’s finally over.<\/p>\n

This defies all logic.\u00a0 Rational people simply don’t act this way.\"\"<\/p>\n

I won’t even mention the potential… no, the probability… of serious injury. Just another layer to peel back that brings you down to the next level of hell. Shin splints, knee problems, flat feet, back troubles, the list goes on.<\/p>\n

And to think, some organizations actually advertise running as fun.\u00a0 Come to our event and take part in a “fun run”.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude10\u00a0 They should be prosecuted for deceptive advertising.<\/p>\n

There are only two times that running is an acceptable endeavor… 1) getting out of the way of a speeding vehicle, and 2) stretching a double into a triple.<\/p>\n

However, since I am a fair and nice guy, if I have to find something good to say about running, at least runners aren’t dressed as cartoonishly as street mimes… or rabid bicyclists.<\/p>\n

Then there’s me…\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fun run “Fun” run. “Fun run”, said no one ever… except the seriously masochistic. Profuse sweating. Stinky body odor. The look of having just been ravaged by a gaggle of Kardashians because you had a Coach purse coupon in your hand. Where’s the fun in that? “Oh, but Ken, you just don’t get it.” No, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life","category-disbelief"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=142"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":152,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions\/152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kurmudgeon.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}