Seems reasonable to me. <shrug>

Them: “Good morning.” Usually including a cheery tone and a smile.

Really, what am I supposed to do with that? Is it a threat? Is it a command? A suggestion? A desperate plea of hope at the prospect of yet another mind-numbing day? What if it’s not a ‘good’ morning? What if it is a ‘good’ morning, but I just want to be left alone? Is that so bad? I, for example, am not a morning person. I may not have anything against you or the morning in particular or anything else, but as a non-morning person… combined with being an introvert… simply do not wish to interact with people beyond a minimally-required level until later in the morning after I have been awake for awhile and have eased into the day a bit. Yet, some people seem to think I’m some kind of grouchy pariah.

I have also observed that some people get very defensive about their morning greetings. They are put off, offended actually, if you do not respond in kind with the same level of chirpiness that they have graciously just offered you. (And, as I have found out the hard way, a sarcastic overly-bubbly “GOOD MORNING!!!”, complete with fake sunshine and rainbows and forced ear-to-ear grins, does not drive home the point and make them stop. Ugh!) Go figure.

Now, I suppose I could be the standard cookie-cutter curmudgeon and respond with, “What’s good about it?”, complete with faux gruff voice inflection, but that’s predictable and all wannabe-curmudgeons, the posers, say that. Those people… men, usually… are also viewed as cute and cuddly in their curmudgeoness. Curmudgeons are not cute and cuddly. (I am actually very cute and cuddly, but I hide it.)

Anyway, how I *want* to respond, and used to until the blowback became too annoying itself, was to just grunt.

Them: “Good morning.” Usually including a cheery tone and a smile.

Me: *grunt*

There. You got your acknowledgement. Go away. But, practical reality precludes me from doing this as often as I’d like. I am told that it is viewed as unsociable. Who knew?

My sister… a rare female curmudgeon, I am proud to say… and I have developed a standard response. And the best part is we developed it somewhat independent of each other. When people say “Good morning.”, we respond with, “Hello.”

What’s wrong with that? It’s a proper greeting. It’s short and simple and correct, we are offering a formal greeting. It’s polite and reasonably friendly. It’s not obscene or uncouth or insulting. Yet to see some people react you’d think you just bludgeoned a unicorn to death, or something. I know people who honestly get offended when I respond with “Hello”. C’mon, stop being uptight and demanding that people act and react how you want them to. Not everybody is happy and chipper when they first wake up. I gave you an honest and non-sarcastic response, accept it and be grateful.

Then go away and leave me alone.


4 thoughts on “*grunt*

  1. This is a very direct, interesting, honest, and funny blog. I look forward to more from an old grumpy curmudgeon such as yourself!

  2. Mmm…I was very amused with your blog about morning people and non-morning people and I must say that I will stay tuned to read your next posting. I appreciate your dry sense of humor and honesty.

  3. AMEN! I am NOT a “good morning” person. Mostly I want to bludgeon people who are all perky in the morning. My response of “hey” is often met with glares, though I don’t care. They can bite me for all I care. 😉

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